Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I still have a little drunk in my system
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
