Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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