In the future we'll all be gay
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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