somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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