does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
