Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
