I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
