ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
