Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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