No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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