i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
