Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize