worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Boobs speak an international language.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize