just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
