I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
