After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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