You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
