chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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