Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
