We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
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ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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