I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
