Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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