When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We don't watch enough power rangers
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
