No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
