Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
