Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
