Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The air was thick with penises
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
