Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
