she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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