someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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