I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
