i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
