Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
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When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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