Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize