Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
