Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
