Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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