He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize