So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
