What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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