yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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