Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
