talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize