New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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