I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
