If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
