i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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