I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
