Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
