I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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