from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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