I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i've created a new STD.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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