Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
