he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize