evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize