she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
