my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
